Find You On My Knees

I feel like I'm talking about the same thing in different ways on here lately, but honestly in my 3rd year of grad school I'm exhausted. It is not a physical tiredness that can be cured with a little extra sleep, but an emotional, social, brain tired. The only times I really sense a glimpse of relief is when I focus on the Father. I don't want you to think I'm complaining, because that is not my intent at all. This is what I signed up for. Being at this place leaves me nothing to hold onto but that which I know is steady, firm, and stable. It's all part of the process God has for me and I trust in Him to sustain me. I thought the lyrics from Kari Jobe's song Find You On My Knees pretty much describes exactly how I feel right now. It really encouraged me that I must not be the only person in the world that has ever felt this way!

Troubles chasing me again,

Breaking down my best defense, 

I'm looking God, I'm looking for you.

Weary just won't let me rest

and fear is filling up my head. 

I'm longing God, I'm longing for you.

But I will find you in the place I'm in,

Find you when I'm at my end,

Find you when there's nothing left of me

to offer you except for brokenness.

You lift me up, you'll never leave me thirsty

When I am weak, when I am lost and searching

I'll find you on my knees.

So what if sorrow shakes my faith,

What if heartache still remains,

I'll trust, my God I'll trust you. 

'Cause You are faithful and I will

Find you in the place I'm in,

Find you when I'm at my end, 

Find you when there's nothing left of me

to offer you except for brokenness.

You lift me up, you'll never leave me thirsty

When I am weak, when I am lost and searching

I'll find you on my knees, my knees.

When my hope is gone,

When the fear is strong,

When the pain is real,

When it's hard to heal,

When my faith is shaken

and my heart is broken 

and my joy is stolen

God I know that you lift me up, 

you'll never leave me searching,

Find you in the place I'm in,
Find you when I'm at my end, 
Find you when there's nothing left of me
to offer you except for brokeness.

You lift me up, you'll never leave me thirsty
When I am weak, when I am lost and searching
I'll find you on my knees.

morning epiphany

The Holiday is one of my favorite movies. However, there are more than one scene that kind of irks me. One of the most annoying is towards the end of the movie when Cameron Diaz is going back to Jude Law after saying goodbye and decides to hop out of the car and run because it was moving slow in the snow. I always just want to yell at her "It's faster if you would just stay in the car!"

This morning was a typical morning, dropping Conner off at school, class, etc. On days like this I make myself a cup of coffee to go to get through my 8:00 class. Unfortunately, I forgot my coffee on the counter today. Luckily, I noticed at Conner's school at not at my own. Driving back towards my school I have to pass the road my house is off of so I figured I would stop by and pick up that precious cup of coffee. Going down my road I have 7 set of speed bumps and 5 pot holes that I have to get around, and the delay to my coffee was agonizing! And for the first time ever... I understood the way Cameron Diaz felt! I wanted to get out of my car and run home so the obstacles would not delay me. Is coffee equivalent to Jude Law? Of course not in looks. However, in this time of my life it's probably pretty close in importance.